Relationship Beliefs Matter:
What are You Projecting to Potential Dates and Mates?
by Wendee Mannon
To be fully authentic in dating and ultimately marriage, we need to be able to project who we truly are to those closest to us. What are you projecting to potential dates or mates?
Good beliefs about dating and relationships can lead to a very successful relationship as well as make the process much more enjoyable. Bad beliefs about dating and relationships can lead to hopelessness, short-circuiting relationships, and even disabling the ability to even enter into a relationship (at least a healthy one). Two people partnered in marriage who believe well about God, life, and circumstances can rock the planet for Him. That’s what I’m believing for in this generation of marriages.
Here's some simple yet powerful steps for cultivating healthy beliefs to help you enter into a healthy, covenant relationship and marriage:
Recognize Lies You're Believing
What we believe about ourselves and God at an internal level is what we project to those we come into contact with. The best way to project who you really are to those around you is to truly believe it.
Is there an area in regards to dating or marriage that you feel hopeless about? As one of my greatest mentors Steve Backlund says, "Your hopelessness about a problem is a bigger problem than the problem." It is good to recognize lies that you may be believing that could be holding you back from walking into an amazing relationship.
Do you tend to think or speak out that you never meet any great prospects? Do thoughts about yourself being unworthy or lacking what it takes to be in a relationship enter your daily world? Are past disappointments in relationships holding you captive by allowing you to think that things will never change?
Believing you aren’t worthy projects insecurities and attracts the like. Thoughts that include a lack of options for you or believing that you’re getting too old to meet someone amazing can project out as desperation. These are all lies! We are precious children of a limitless God; He is big enough to move any mountain and has given us a part to play in that. You are valuable at any age and there is always hope. One practical way to combat lies and move a mountain is to declare truth over yourself and to that mountain.
"Faith comes by hearing," (Romans 10:17). As in anything, this can be a daily process. I still make declarations over myself and my situation. When I was a single woman, I used some of the declarations that you’ll read below in times when I felt hopeless or knew I needed to move forward in an area. Are you doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? What are you projecting to potential dates or mates? Perhaps it's time for a change. God created you unique, beautiful, and in His image. As His child, you inherited all that He has. What an incredible place to live from!
Speak These 5 Relationship Declarations Over Yourself
I would encourage you to you to take the five declarations below and speak them over yourself daily (or hourly as needed) for the next 30 days or until you know you live from that belief. If there are other declarations God shows you, feel free to add those and omit any that don’t fit for you.
Not only do I believe they will change how you think about yourself, but as you begin regularly speaking life, you will see a difference in who you attract as you begin to believe what God says about you as His child. God partners with our words to create the world we live in. "Life and death are in the power of the tongue," (Proverbs 18:21).
Declarations for the ladies:
- I am a desirable woman and worth of pursuit.
- I am open, warm, and inviting; attracting high quality, marriage-minded men.
- God is setting me up to have an incredible, long-lasting, and fulfilling marriage relationship.
- I am able to live from my heart thus attracting true love into my life.
- It’s easy for me to meet the man of my dreams, fall in love, and get married.
And now, for the gentlemen:
- I have what it takes to pursue and lead a godly woman.
- I am strong, confident and ready to meet a quality woman.
- I know who I am, what I want, and where I’m headed.
- I am in touch with how I feel and am able to communicate well in relationships.
- It’s easy for me to meet the woman of my dreams, fall in love, and get married.
Beliefs matter. God is partnering with your words and beliefs to bring about your dreams today. I believe it!
What are some beliefs that you think are important to cultivate while dating? Please share with me. I’d love to hear what you have to say!
Wendee Mannon has a deep passion to see godly men and women connect into healthy, thriving marriages. She is CEO of Christian dating site called OnDaySix.com. She is also passionate about seeing God’s people come into the fullness of all that He has for them as sons and daughters that lead from love and freedom. As a dating and relationship coach, she helps coach men and women into the relationships they have dreamed of. In 2011, she interned for Steve Backlund in media and marketing.
Wendee's book Love Unstuck: Be the Leading Lady, an incredible resource for single Christian women desiring marriage, is now available. Partner with God to move towards this desire in your life! Follow the link below for more details or to purchase the book (available in print and Kindle editions).