"Daisy's Fear Issues"
Steve Backlund
My wife, Wendy, and I love animals and we have had many dogs and cats throughout the years. Right now we have two dogs - Buddy and Daisy. They are brother and sister Schnoodles, have the same parents, but are from different litters. They are wonderful dogs and provide a lot of companionship and joy.
Through the years, I have received many spiritual lessons from my dogs that I have written about in blogs and books. God speaks our language and will give us powerful spiritual insights through our passions, responsibilities, and the things we love. This has been true for our animals. I have been studying Daisy’s tendencies and I want to give you a key insight from her life.
We got Daisy when she was about eight months old. We noticed immediately that she was not as trusting as Buddy was when he was that age. When we would reach out our hand to pet her, she would back away in fear. Buddy was just the opposite, but something in Daisy’s past had made her fearful of what might happen to her if she moved closer to my hand.
I was tempted to be frustrated with Daisy and say, “Daisy, what is wrong with you? Why are you reacting this way to me!” I realized if I responded that way, then I would reinforce her belief that she needed to be afraid and live a life of suspicion and mistrust.
What has been exciting is seeing the progress Daisy has made in the year and a half we have had her. We have worked hard to strengthen her trust in us and our motives.
There is a little bit (or a lot) of Daisy in us and the people in our lives. Let’s look at how this relates to ourselves and how we can help other people grow in their trust.
How Daisy’s experience relates to ourselves:
We all have unconscious reactions (triggers) to people and circumstances based on our past experiences.
Our lack of trust for people today can result from what has happened to us in the past and not what these people are doing.
As we mature, we increasingly understand our tendencies, triggers, and reactions. We can verbalize it to others and ourselves. “When I experience _______________, I tend to ________________.”
How it relates to our relationships:
People’s relational history will impact how they respond to us.
People who respond negatively to us are sometimes put in our lives by God for their healing and restoration of trust.
How it relates to our leadership and discipling of people:
“Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted” (Galatians 6:1). We are called and anointed to restore all kinds of people, including those overtaken by offense, bitterness, or wrong discernment about people.
Emotionally wounded people are the primary “targets” for the anointing in Isaiah 61. It’s amazing to consider that a big reason for our anointing is to heal the poor, the brokenhearted, the captive, the bound, those who mourn, and those with a spirit of heaviness.
Building trust in the eyes of those we lead is an important part of leading people. We may not be able to help everyone, and there may be people who lash out at us from their unresolved pain, but as we intentionally build trusting relationships, we will be part of the solution, and not part of the problem, in many lives.
Daisy is overcoming her fear and trust issues, and so are we! Certainly, we should be discerning in our relationships, but we can do this from a place of inner health.
Daisy, I am sorry for the times when I was frustrated with you. I am changing too.