"Steve, Stop Fixating On That!" By Steve Backlund
To fixate means to obsessively concentrate on something. This can be a positive trait if we fixate on God’s love and voice, but I have battled the tendency to give too much energy and attention to what is wrong. My negative thinking did not result primarily from circumstances, but it resulted from the bad habit of not exercising self-control in my thinking.
Here are examples of “wrong things” we can fixate on:
What is wrong with ourselves
What is wrong with others
What is not happening in our lives
Unresolved relational situations
What is wrong in society
What went wrong in the past
What is wrong with other churches or Christian leaders
There can be ten things right with our job, leader, spouse, children, parents, pastor, or something else, but if there is one thing wrong, we will be tempted to dwell on the one thing wrong.
Why do we fixate on what is wrong?
Because we believe God is fixated on what is wrong with us and the world
Because we are renewing our minds with lies instead of truth
Because we are tired
Because we have unresolved disappointments
Because we use other people’s faults to excuse our own faults
Because we believe guilt and disapproval are good motivational tools
Because we are unhappy and we want to make sure no one else is happy
How can we overcome fixating on the wrong things?
Partner with what God is already doing - “Lift up your eyes and look at the fields, for they are already white for harvest!” (John 4:35). There is something positive happening right now in your life, family, city, finances, and other areas of your life to fixate on.
Focus on what you already have - “And she said, ‘Your servant has nothing in the house except a jar of oil’” (2 Kings 4:2). As the widow spoke to Elisha, she took her eyes off of her lack to see what she actually did have (oil). One of the purposes of prophetic ministry is to help us see and give attention to what we actually have (in resources, favor, giftings, etc.)
Keep moving forward in life - When the Israelites were in a seemingly impossible situation (the Red Sea blocking their way and the Egyptians pursuing them), God told Moses, “Tell my people to move forward” (Exodus 14:15). Instead of fixating on the problem, they were to take forward moving steps As a result, the Red Sea parted. We will fixate less on what we believe is wrong if we give our attention to specific forward-moving steps in our lives.
Pray for blessings for people and places we are tempted to be critical or negative about - This is an especially effective way to overcome fixating on the perceived faults of people.
Implement the power of being grateful - Good parents regularly tell their children, “Say thank you.” They know that if their child grows up ungrateful and feels entitled to things, then he or she will not live a happy life or do relationships well. Being radically thankful to God and to people dramatically decreases the chances of being fixated on what seems to be wrong.
“Steve, stop fixating on what is wrong and set your mind on what I am doing, on the blessings you already have, on praying for people you are tempted to be negative about, on your own forward movement, and on being grateful. You will be happier and the people around you will be happier too.”